Becoming a Godly Wife Lesson 2
Understanding God's Love
Review of Last Month: Homework:
- Review of at lest 3 typical days, did you notice a trend in how you spent your time?
Did you find time you can "juggle" to make a dedicated time to spend with the Lord?
- Did you dedicate time and spend it with the Lord?
- Did you start your journals? Are you writing in them? Does it help you focus your thought and heart more on the Lord?
- What did your husband do to make you mad and how did you handle it?
Understanding God's Love:
1 John 4:7-12:
- Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
- He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
- In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.
- In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
- Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
- No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His
love has been perfected in us.
This verse tells us what love is, it is God, God is love in all his ways. Jesus was the manifestation of that love.
John 3:16:
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
God so loved that He gave!
God's love is a supernatural love. It is not dependent or based on human understanding, desires or emotions. It is also not based on the other person's response or upon circumstances. This is known as agape love.
God's love is not like human love. Everyone has human love; we are born with it. It is based on our feelings, circumstances and other's responses to us.
Our human love or fleshly love is solely based on how we feel and how we respond to how others seem to feel about us. Human love is self-centered, conditional and always is two sided.
It is conditional because it always depends on 3 things, how we think, feel and desire what our circumstances are and how others respond to us.
It is self-centered because it is centered around "me", how I feel, how that person makes me feel and what I will get in return for my love towards them.
It is two sided because it always involves bargaining. I will love you if.. you will be this way, treat me this way, love me back. It is never given without bargaining.
Human love has a need to fill. With human love there is always a void because it is always demanding.
There are three Greek words to describe human love, Storage, Eros and Phileo.
Storage love:
This Greek Word actually means to "cover over or to protect". It is our emotional feeling love. It is the love a parent has for a child or a husband for his family, grandparent for her grandchild. It is conditional because it craves to be returned for it to be kept alive.
It can also be a smothering love, out of control love that easily turns to jealousy, because it is self centered and without God's love added to the mix can turn into something ugly. It can desires only it’s own good, not the good of the other person. It can make sure it's needs are met not the needs of the other person. It can easily turn into a domineering love.
Example: a mother whose lives are totally centered around her children.
Eros love:
This is the Greek Word for our sexual love. Our Word erotic comes from this Word. It is dependent on physical or sexual attraction. It is passionate, erotic love, our "falling in love" love. It takes us above all the pettiness of the relationship for a short time, we are intoxicated with the other person, we think about them a lot, and we want to be with them. We enjoy physical contact with that person. It is this love that leads to physical intimacy in marriage, and without God in the mix, sex outside of marriage. It is driven by out physical desires and can easily overpower us if we are not where we need to be in the Lord.
Example: David and Bathsheba. David was not where he was supposed to be in the Lord, at war with his men, He was out of God's will and therefore able to yield easily to the temptation to his flesh and committee adultery and then murder.
Inside marriage it can be wonderful and fulfilling. We want our husbands to be intoxicated with us.
Phileo love:
This is the Greek Word for being strongly attached to. It can refer to persons and things. It is often used to describe friendship love. It is stimulated by the same interests and outlooks, having something in common with the other person, thinking alike on various subjects such as politics, religion, child rearing and finances. It is also a demanding love because you have to see something in the other person's thoughts or actions to stimulate it.
Example: friendship. John 12:25: "He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
All three of these loves are necessary for a successful marriage, but they cannot stand alone or solely with one of the others. It takes all three plus the Agape love of God. Remember these loves are natural fleshly love, and when activated require something back in return. They can also turn ugly easily, if not mixed with God's love. They can become overly demanding, perverted and jealous if not tempered with a strong relationship with God and His love dominating you.
Describe these type loves in your relationship with your husband.
- How do you demonstrate Storage love toward Him?
- What about Eros?
- What things do you do that demonstrated Phileo love.
Let's finish looking at God's love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:
- Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
- does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
- does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
- bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
- Love never fails.
This Scripture reference describes God's love:
It is patient and kind.
It is not envious.
It does not boast or is not prideful.
It is not rude.
It does not put itself first, or seek it’s own way.
It always thinks the best of someone.
It does not rejoice in wrong doing.
It rejoices when truth wins out.
It holds up under all kinds of wrongs. It bears all things, it is loyal.
It always believes the best of someone and does all it can to help that person attain it.
It will not allow others to belittle or degrade someone, it is the champion of the person it loves, defending, protecting and promoting them.
Describe different ways Storage, Eros and Phileo love can be bad and how God's love will completely change it.
The following is a prayer based on Corinthians 13:1, Please pray it for yourself . Write down in your journals any revelations God gives you about yourself in relation to this pray and changes you see and God works in you live.
Think of Three ways or things you can do, to show your love for your husband. Put it into practice. Plan to keep doing special things for you husband to show your love.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you now in the name of Jesus asking for your will to be done in my marriage. That I will walk according to your Word and show your love in my marriage.
Father, I ask that I will always be very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud. That I will never be haughty or selfish or rude. That I will not demand my own way. I will not be irritable or touchy. I will not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do me wrong, especially my husband. I will never be glad about injustice, but I will rejoice whenever truth wins out. Lord I will be loyal to my husband no matter what the cost. I will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand my ground in defending him. I will pray for my husband daily and always look for ways to show my love for him.
Thank you for your Word, Lord, that never returns void and I stand in that Word now, believing that your love will be manifested in me and my marriage from this day forth.
In Jesus name I pray,
AMEN.