Becoming a Godly Wife Lesson 4

"Understanding and Praying for Your Husband"

 

We have discussed in the previous lessons, Our relationship with God, Understanding God's love and how it should rule all we do and submission to God and to our husbands.

In This lesson, I am going to be talking about the husband's role and calling, and how we as wives make that a reality in our marriage.

 

Women and men were made by God to be different.

 

Genesis 2:7: And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

 

Genesis 2:18- : And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'' 19.  Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.

20. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.  21.  And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.  22.  Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.  23.  And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.''  24.  Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  25.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

 

We were formed to be a helper suitable to our husbands.  This means whatever our husband needs to succeed in his role as husband, father and provider, is our responsibility to provide. Whether it be spiritual, mental or physical our job is to provide it.

 

God formed man out of the Earth. He then provided him a home to live in and take care of.

God then finished the act of creation, by "forming" woman.  He took part of man and formed woman. 

 

The word for rib in verse 22 is the feminine form of the Hebrew Word.  That means that what makes us women, God took from man and put in us.  It is more than a rib, it is all that makes us women and thus different from man, physically, mentally and emotionally.

God made us to be different but yet to need each other.  Men and women are different and we should celebrate that difference, not criticize it in each other.  We don't think, feel or act alike and once we realize that God did that for a purpose, we can move into accepting our role as a woman and wife and our husbands role as a man and husband.  Amen?

 

Ephesians 5:17-33: Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  18.  And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,  19.  speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,  20.  giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,  21.  submitting to one another in the fear of God.  22.  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  23.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.  25.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it,  26.  that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,  27.  that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
25. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  29.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.  30.  For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.  31.  "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.''  32.  This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  33.  Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 

These section of Scripture plainly tells us what the will of God is regarding marriage.

We reviewed submission in our last lesson. Let's now look at our husbands' role.

 

The husband is head of the wife.  This is an important thing for us to realize.  The husband is to "wear the pants in the family".  He is to be responsible for so much. He is responsible for the spiritual growth of the family, the emotional stability, and the material provisions the family needs.  In these functions the wife is there to support the husband, not overrule or dominate him.

 

The husband had three main roles in marriage, that of Priest, Prophet and King.

 

1. Priest: The Husband represents his family to God. How does he do this?

He is to do four things.

1. Offer thanksgiving:

 

Hebrews 13:15: 15.  Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.

 

When a husband spends time thanking God for his family, he creates an atmosphere

in which they can succeed.  It is difficult to pray for someone you cannot be thankful for.  This is an important for us as women to remember, Thank God for your husband! Everyday! This role of thanksgiving works for him too, you want to create an atmosphere he can succeed in, also.

2. Make intercession:

J

ob 1:5: 5.  So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, "It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.'' Thus Job did regularly.

 

It is the husband's role to intercede for his wife and children.  It is his role to call upon God to keep his promises obtained through the finished work of Christ on the cross.  It in no way negates the wife's role as intercessor, your role enhances his.

3. Make the way for salvation of his family:

 

Exodus 12:3,6-7,13: 3.  "Speak to all the congregation of Israel, saying: `On the tenth day of this month every man shall take for himself a lamb, according to the house of his father, a lamb for a household….6.  `Now you shall keep it until the fourteenth day of the same month. Then the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it at twilight.  7.  `And they shall take some of the blood and put it on the two doorposts and on the lintel of the houses where they eat it…13.  `Now the blood shall be a sign for you on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you; and the plague shall not be on you to destroy you when I strike the land of Egypt…. 22.  "And you shall take a bunch of hyssop, dip it in the blood that is in the basin, and strike the lintel and the two doorposts with the blood that is in the basin. And none of you shall go out of the door of his house until morning.  23.  "For the Lord will pass through to strike the Egyptians; and when He sees the blood on the lintel and on the two doorposts, the Lord will pass over the door and not allow the destroyer to come into your houses to strike you.

 

It was the husband's and father's role to select the lamb, slay it, paint the blood over the door posts and instruct and keep the family from going out until God instructed them to go out.  Now it is the husband's role as Father to see that God's provision of salvation through Jesus Christ is manifested in the home.

4. Exercise faith for his children:

 

Mark 9:23-24: Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.''  24.  Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!''

 

This Father brought his ill child to Jesus, the child was not able to believe for himself and Jesus looked to the Father for the faith to heal his child.  It is the same for us today. As biblical wives, we add our agreement for the needs of our child according to Matthew 18:19.

 

2. Prophet: The husband represents God to the family.  He does this in four ways.
3. By example: He walks in love at all times. He shows love to all family members at all times, even when discipline is necessary. 

 

 1 John 3:23: And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

 

Romans 5:5: Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

The Holy Ghost deposits the love of God in His heart and it is his responsibility to walk in it.  Pray for him to do so, Ladies.

2. By teaching:

 

Ephesians 6:4: 4.  And you, fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

 

It is the husband's role to teach about the Lord. Unfortunately, for many of us, our husbands do not fulfill this role.  It has fallen on us as women to teach our children about the Lord.  If this is the case in your home, let your husband know, what you are teaching. It doesn't have to be a long point by point lesson you explain, just an explanation.  Unfortunately, children mimic what they see and when they are old enough to notice that daddy is not serving the Lord, they may choose to mimic daddy and not mom.  Ladies, set the example but do not "brow beat" your husbands. Pray for them, start calling those things that are not, as they are. Pray with your children for your husband, for him to love God as you and they do.  Don't belittle him, but in love pray for him.

3. By open communication:

 

The husband needs to lead in communication, but many times it is the wife who wants to do all the talking.  Pray for your husband to communicate the Lord, in all areas of his life, not just during formal Bible Study.  Pray for him to take everyday instances and events and show God's hand in them. We will discuss communication between spouses in more depth in another lesson.

4. By keeping His family safe:

 

Hebrews 11:7a: By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household,..

 

Noah listened to God and saved his family.  The same is true of us today, the husband needs to refine his relationship with God, to listen and learn and provide wisdom for you and your family.  Pray for him to reach this level do not criticize or judge him if he is not there yet.  It is through the your prayers and intercession, God will act.

 

3. As King:

1 Timothy 3:4: one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence..

 

We saw in Genesis chapter 1, that God put Adam in the garden to tend it, not Eve.  Adam named the animals, not Eve.  Eve is to help tend the home, not rule it.  Wives, you and your children are to be in submission the husband as king of his home.

In many homes today, due to inflation and the cost of living, it requires two incomes to make ends meet.  If this is true in your home it does not negate the role of the husband.  It does not matter who makes the most money, or who is better educated, it is your job to support him in the role of king. You are the queen, not the King.

 

Men have four basic needs.

1. Honor or respect.
2. Sex
3. Companionship, with other males.
4. Domestic support.

 

I will discuss sex in another lesson, but let's look at the other three.

Ladies, you are to respect you husband.  This includes submission and support.  If you disagree with him, don't do it in public.  Don't ridicule him or make jokes about him.

 

In our text in Ephesians 5, we see we are to love and submit to our husbands as the church does to Christ.  The church does not argue or fight with Jesus.  It is to worship and love Him. Ladies, if you want your husband to worship the ground you walk on than you have to worship Christ first and him second.  You have to see him as wonderful, fun, good looking, and sexy.   See him as God sees him, and yes God does look at both you and your husband in this way.  He made us for each other and if we did not need to see each other in this way than God would not have made it possible.  So look at your husband through God's eyes.

 

What if he does not do the same?  First and foremost take it to the Lord.  We have discussed what a husband is to do and be, pray for him to become that man, confess it over him daily.  If your marriage needs help, seek it, don't try to fix it alone. God wants your marriage to be a success as a witness to Him.  We want the unsaved to want what we have, not be glad they don't have it. Amen?

 

If your husband enjoys doing things with the guys, let him, competition is healthy in a male. God made him this way and it builds his self-esteem to compete with his brothers in something whether it is a game of baseball, golf or hunting.  Remember men are hunter, gatherers and hanging out with the guys’ meets this need in today's society.

 

Lastly, ladies let's refer back to the Proverbs 31 wife.  This is how we support our husbands, by keeping the home and doing it well.  Don't let yourself or your home become unkempt.  Make your home a place your husband wants to stay, not leave. Amen?

 

The husband provides and he wants to see what he has provided taken care of.  So do it.  If you work, pray about it and then sit down with him and talk about fair division of duties.  You cannot do it all, and should not be expected to. If your husband, does not help, than first and foremost pray for him and then explain you feeling.  Changes will not occur over night but, if you pray and confess in faith, changes than God is faithful to his Word to bring it to pass and your marriage and life will become what God intended.

 

Luke 1:37: 37.  "For with God nothing will be impossible.''